My first Brazilian bikini wax experience and what happened next…

It was a typical hot summer day in New York City. I walked down 3rd Avenue with my long cotton skirt blowing in the wind. I decided to forego my undies and go “commando” as my good friend likes to call it. It truly was a bare necessities type of day. Where on earth was I going walking around the city with no panties on? To get my very first Brazilian bikini wax.

Yes, I often kept the jungle down there tamed but the rave about the Brazilian bikini wax piqued my curiosity. With my sensitive skin, there was no way a product like Nair would ever meet my juicy bits. And, I’d had just about enough of shaving and scratching like a junkie every time the hair grew back. So, this Brazilian wax thing sounded like a great idea. Well, almost.

Hot wax and pubic hair + snatched = not refreshing.

I ventured into the little day spa in Irving Plaza. Waited patiently for my Brazilian bikini wax spa treatment to begin. The Asian lady now stunned to see so much hair down there. Not that it was a bush! Luckily, my triangular region is smooth like silk (bawhaaaa). She said Asian women typically don’t have much hair in the pubic region. Her reaction to mine led me to believe not many Black women come in for Brazilian bikini waxes at this spa. The conversation shifted to a history lesson on the various types of vaginas that frequent the spa for a wax job.

The procedure took 45 minutes and I was smooth as a babies bottom and sore as hell. I couldn’t wait to look! However, that’d have to wait until I got home. I slid back into my cotton skirt with no panties and slowly walked down 3rd Avenue to my car. That’s when I discovered something had changed.

Whoa, spidey senses!

My sensitivity heightened in a way I’d never felt before. As the cool breeze whipped around the corner and rattled my skirt, I felt a sensation between my thighs. Suddenly, I felt like a pervert walking down the street while erotically turning myself on. With every step and kiss of the wind, I came closer to an orgasm. Amazed, I hurried to my car to avoid what surely would have been a dramatic scene between me and my thin cotton skirt.

I gushed over how exhilarating it felt to have had my first Brazilian bikini wax and the extra sensation I intended to explore later when I caught up to my boo.

It was too nice outside to go straight home. I shopped around for a bit until I had to use the restroom. Now, I know a lot of people sit their asses on public toilet seats and if that’s your thing, have at it. However, the germaphobe in me would never allow such a circumstance. Yes, I know there’s more germs on the toilet paper itself than the seat. I have a solution for that too.

The bathroom scene…

I rarely use public restrooms. And, if I have to go you for sure won’t catch me getting cozy and pooping in one. Thankfully, I’ve managed to get through my entire 25 years of life without incident.

Still, I was not ready for what would happen next. When I squatted to pee like always in public restrooms, my pee was no longer the sharp shooter she’s always been! It came flying out in every direction wetting up me and everything in between. I hurried and cut the flow thanks to my kegel muscles which have been blessed by the Gods. Perplexed, I tried to pee again only to experience the same thing. Bewildered. What the hell is wrong with my pee? Why won’t it come out straight?!

In a very creative way I was able to wrap up my business, dry off, and clean up! However, I wondered how long this little pee-gone-wild dilemma would last.

Oh and did it last! It took about two weeks before my pee returned to it’s heavenly stream of straightness. So, every time I get a Brazilian wax, I invoke clever ways to avoid not peeing on myself, the seat, and everything else.

One method I’ve heard but have yet to try is to hold the labia open to avoid the splash. Apparently, the swollen lips (due to the hot wax) get in the way of the stream causing it to undulate.

And before you go judging, no I’m not that chick leaving a mess in the bathroom like some folks and no no I’m not going to just sit my ass on the seat!

So, for the ladies out there who’ve wondered if they’re the only ones that pee funny after a Brazilian wax, you are not alone. Now that we know this happens, be prepared to pee straight with chaser until things get back to normal.

Check out this blog post on conversations during a Brazilian wax and Blue Apron!

What strange experiences have you had after a Brazilian Bikini wax?